If Not For You
by FoxfireX17
Summary: First Chapter. Manipulating the whole Sora/Kairi/Riku love triangle. Taking a new turn for me, so the genres have changed.
1. Prologue

AN: A prologue to a larger story. That does not necessarily mean it will be continued. That depends on how many reviews I receive. I'm an individual who needs to be guilted into finishing a story, and the more reviews, the guiltier I feel. ^_^ Anyway, I haven't completed the game, so this will take place beforehand, and may not even lead into the game's storyline at all. So... read on, folks! And remember: review if you wanna see more than the prologue!   
  
  
  
  
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If Not For You

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A cooling breeze, salty from the ocean to the west, swept dirt about his ankles. A natural ninety was transformed to eighty by the wind and surf's influence; not cool enough to bring a chill, and not warm enough to be uncomfortable. A mountain rose at his back, nearly touching the sky. Before him and all about him on three sides stretched the mysterious sea, ever as fascinating, but more therapeutic at this late hour. 

_Why am I here?_ the boy wondered. _I'm insubstantial, irrelevant to a greater ideal. What... what separates us at birth from being islanders and being something more? How do I know what destiny truly has in store for me? Can fate be altered?_

An old fifteen. Contemplative and serious to a fault, but cunning and playful enough to hide it well from those who knew him. Possessed of a sharp, analytical mind, but still somehow youthfully and contrarily optimistic. He kept firm hold of his dreams, a peculiarity amongst those of his character. 

Evening was swiftly turning to night, a sliver of silver moon shining above the mountain's peak. It highlighted the boy's shock of white hair and detailed every strand as it was blown by the wind into his vision. He watched them a while, pale and wispy and the color of the moon, and thought that if he could not reach the silver crescent in the sky, he at least shared some aspect of it. 

"Aren't you tired?" 

The boy tensed. He had not heard her coming. Doubt, about many things, began to settle in his mind. 

"Not yet," he replied, vivid blue eyes capturing the girl as she made a seat beside him. She began to swing her legs lazily, a habit from childhood, as she focused on the landscape drawn out palely before her by the moon's rays. The ocean was beautiful, especially at night when the tides reflected silver as they breached the shore. She could understand what drew him to this place. 

"...Where were you, Kairi?" 

She ignored the way his eyes searched her. Kairi was not as oblivious as her male counterparts would like to believe. 

"I've been with Sora... You were invited along, remember?" 

He huffed, but not scornfully. "He didn't act like he wanted me there, so I left." 

"Of course he wanted you there," she reprimanded, glancing at him in concern. "He's your friend. We want you to be with us." Then, smiling, she added, "It's not the same without you, Riku. Who else is going to stir up trouble?" 

He wasn't amused, however. 

"What did you two do?" 

"Well..." she trailed, turning from him. 

Riku looked up sharply, warily. 

"We were on the beach playing blitzball with Wakka." Kairi met his eyes with a grin and laughed. "Why? What did you think we were doing?" 

"Oh." Riku shook his head. "Nevermind." 

She leaned toward him, slow enough to gain his full attention. Casually, if not a bit playfully, her hand brushed across Riku's forehead, tucking away a bang that dangled precariously near his eye. Riku's breath caught for the instant that she lingered so closely until, abruptly, she withdrew and stood. 

"Kairi..." 

"I'll see you in the morning, Riku," she smiled. 

"See you..." 

He watched Kairi's retreating silhouette until it blended into the shadows of the mountain face. More than ever he wanted to follow her into that dark. Old thoughts resurfaced, to him all befitting of the shadows and best left forgotten. 

A quiet struggle within himself, then Riku wretched his sight away, back to the moon. It was much too late, he realized, and too long since he had slept. So, with one last glance to the tranquil sea, he allowed Kairi a few minutes head start and then he too began the short trek home. 


	2. Chapter 1

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Chapter One

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_You have her eyes, you know. _

Do you remember? 

I suppose not. You were so young when she was taken. So young... But she knew as well, before any of us could have imagined. And she would sing to you - songs of times you were destined to know, things you would someday understand. Each day she would hold you in her frail arms and sing, and you would gaze up at her loving face with those bubbly blue eyes and coo silently. 

She looks after you still. When she passed, she promised she would. She said it was her blessing, her curse, and she would watch you always. And I knew she kept her promise because you would talk to her when you were a little older, alone in your room at night. Others learned through the years, but no one understood. I did, because I understood my daughter, and I protected you as best I could. 

I suppose you're wondering why. It's been so long, why do I come to you now? 

Can you picture that day, when your mother died? Sure you can, just use your eyes, not your mind. The figure with her, do you see it? You tremble, but not to worry. It is only a memory, and it hasn't come for you. Calm down and focus. What do you notice? 

Yes, it doesn't have a face. Your mother, she sees it more clearly. 

It troubles you. It always has. As well it should, though not in the manner you take it to. I could never protect you from yourself. I tried so hard... You questioned, came closer to the truth. As close as your mother ever did, but you wouldn't remember now... 

Stop. 

You and your mother are much alike that way. Bull headed and curious. Much too curious. I begged her to stop looking - stop looking before it was too late! But she was too determined to see... simply because she had that power. 

It's not too late for you. That is why I'm here - to tell you. 

Let it go. Close your eyes. 

Live, Riku. 

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He awoke into darkness, pale and hot, a shivering shadow among his sheets. A rush of cool air from his open window dried his sweat soaked skin; at some point he had fought his blankets to the floor. Outside the window, the moon had left him to the darkness and his nightmare, having drifted beyond the neighboring roof. His clock chimed softly the four o'clock hour. 

"A dream," he murmured, touching an unsteady hand to his face. He swallowed thickly, rose to sit against the headboard of his bed. There he took measured breaths until the fear subsided and the nightmare became a dim anxiety in the recesses of his mind. 

"That feeling again," Riku spoke to nothing. His gut clenched with something he had come to call 'portent'. It followed prophetic dreams, and often night visits. But it had been so long now since he had experienced either one that he hesitated to believe his own instincts. Perhaps his mother had visited him like she used to, although he usually remembered... 

Riku felt the moist cotton of his pajamas. Something had not been right. Could his dream have contained a warning? A warning for whom? And if was indeed meant to alert him, why couldn't he remember? 

"I've been through this," he whispered fervently to the shadows. "I thought they were gone for good. What has changed?" Almost desperately he sought an answer in the thick darkness where hid his closet. Closets were where demons lurked, right? Children know it to be true, and though now grown beyond those years, the vague memory surfaced of him performing this same act long ago. He never saw the monster, but somehow he still knew it was there. 

Just like right now, with the breeze freezing his spine and the shadows lengthening in a black void and the sickened feeling in his stomach of ill omen. 

'Preposterous,' Riku berated himself. 'Regressing to my duller years... I thought I gained more sense than that.' 

"Maybe I haven't changed as much as I like to think..." 

The image of his younger self receded and Riku released it gratefully. His childhood had been full of tragedy and pain for as much as he could recall. He had been weaker then... Prone to talking to himself - only then there was someone listening that he alone could see. Delusions, he had scoffed. An illusion of his mother meant to fill the part of his life that needed a nurturing female figure. A projection from a lonely boy who wanted his mother, nothing more. 

If that were so, why did the feeling tug at him so? That foreboding... The impression that soon he would remember all too well what it was like to know fear and isolation. 

"Rubbish," he mocked. Maybe things were going to change, but Riku had confidence that it would be for the better. Good things were going to happen, and he was going to set them to motion. Surely this life had more to offer him than a shallow existence on an obscure island with fragile ties to people around him. It had to be so. 

Because he was going to be sure that it was so. 

Reaching over the bed, Riku gathered his blankets to prepare for sleep again. Rest may well elude him, but he could at least plan for the future - a prosperous future away from this mundane hunk of land. And hopefully Kairi would be right there with him, to share it... 

With that peaceful thought, Riku lay back and let his mind wander, prior fears forgotten in his ambition.   
  
  
  
  


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Author's Note: Yeah, it's been a long time. I had lost my inspiration; and truthfully, it's still gone. I just felt guilty not updating. But I'll try to keep it going, albeit casually. Very casually. Sorry it's so short. It's more of a prologue than my prologue ^_^. Anyway... Thanks for reading - and for the few of you who like this story, please be patient. 


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